


project green

by AgentMaryMargaretSkitz, dametokillfor, FirenzeSun, geeky_ramblings, harleygirl2648, MrsNoraPalmer, steelwater



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Cancer, F/M, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Lung Cancer, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash, Relationship Problems, Self-Esteem Issues, basically the server's love letter to gary green, tags might change and be added as we write more, who writes what will be in the chapter notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2020-10-25 14:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz/pseuds/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/pseuds/dametokillfor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirenzeSun/pseuds/FirenzeSun, https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeky_ramblings/pseuds/geeky_ramblings, https://archiveofourown.org/users/harleygirl2648/pseuds/harleygirl2648, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsNoraPalmer/pseuds/MrsNoraPalmer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelwater/pseuds/steelwater
Summary: Basically the constangreen server's love letter to Gary Green. Each chapter will (most likely) be written by a different member of the server featuring a Legend bonding with Gary.





	1. of book clubs and brazen baristas by mrsnorapalmer

_**Book Club Forever**_  
_Gary Green: WHO HAS FINISHED THE BOOK?_  
_ Nora Palmer: WHO HAS FINISHED THE BOOK?_  
_ Gary: …_  
_ Nora: …_  
_ Ava Sharpe: apparently just you two. We just picked the book out two days ago? Don’t you two have lives?_  
_ Mona Wu: WOW! Nora you read even faster than me! Gary too!_  
_ Nora: have either of you read it or not?_  
_ Ava: no_  
_ Mona: nope!_  
_ Nora: Gary meet me at SC Jitters in five minutes._  
_ Gary: I’LL BE RIGHT THERE._

Breathless, excited, and in desperate need to caffeine, Gary and Nora flew into Jitters within thirty seconds of the other. The book in question clutched in their hands, pressed against their winter coats.

Nora hugged her friend and shook his shoulders. “I couldn’t put it down!”

Gary, wide eyed, nodded in agreeance. “I COULDN’T EITHER.”

“Okay.” Nora tried to stop herself from just babbling about it there in the entryway, especially as patrons came in and had to shuffle around them. She blushed a little, flustered, and motioned to Gary to join the line. “Sorry I just couldn’t exactly stand there and start yelling about HOW THE GIRL ACTUALLY TURNED OUT TO BE HER TWIN SISTER THE ENTIRE TIME.” Nora said she would try to stop herself. Not that she could.

Gary nodded eagerly. “RIGHT!? How crazy is that?”

“Completely nuts.”

They got to the front of the line and the barista (almost to Nora’s shame) knew her order. Gary came in a bit but much less frequently than Nora and coincidentally since this barista had started working.

“And for you, sir?” The barista asked, eyeing Gary quite like a piece of meat.

“I’ll have an iced caramel macchiato.” Gary smiled at the barista, the color finally returning to normal in his cheeks from rushing through the cold streets of Star City to meet Nora.

“One iced caramel macchiato coming up!”

Gary pulled out his wallet but the barista winked at him.

“You’re good.” She smiled suggestively.

“Oh umm thank you!”

Nora threaded her arm through Gary’s and ushered him away. She rolled her eyes.

“Guess I was like the 100th customer today or something and got a free drink how about that?”

Nora bit the inside of her cheek. “No, Gary, she was undressing you with her eyes.”

Gary blinked. “What?”

“Oh god, no wonder it took you and John so long to get your shit together. Come on, I see our usual table is free.”

Their usual table was actually two comfy chairs that faced one another with a small table in the middle.

After a few minutes Nora heard ‘_Ray’s baby mama!_’ Be called out and she smiled, shuffling to grab hers. Gary followed, figuring his drink wouldn’t be too far behind.

“_Sexiest Guy in the Coffee Shop!_” The barista yelled almost immediately after Nora picked her drink up. The barista placed an iced caramel macchiato onto the bar and in a perfect script there was ‘_Sexiest Guy in the Coffee Shop_’.

Nora immediately lost her shit.

Gary looked around nervously. “Is that… for me?...”

Nora nodded trying to hold herself together. “Yes! Grab it before they yell it again.”

Gary nervously grabbed his drink after being eyed with judgemental gazes from some conventionally attractive male patrons.

“I’m sorry, Gare, I was _not_ laughing at you, I swear! I was laughing at how fucking brazen that barista is being, HOLY SHIT IS THAT HER PHONE NUMBER ON THE LID?” Nora nearly choked on her hot cocoa. “I’m sorry wow holy shit. Do you want me to go talk to her? Tell her you’re very very taken?”

Gary nervously shoved his straw into his lid and remained quiet. “Umm maybe later. That was a little embarrassing because clearly I think most everyone took it as a prank. It probably was.”

Nora shook her head. “No way, hey..." She noticed her friend retreating inward. "I know what it looks like when a woman undresses a man with her eyes, I do it all the time to Ray. She was definitely dead serious. If I thought it was a prank she would be dead by now.”

"Nora!"

"Why do people always say my name like when I say stuff?"

Gary shook his head at his friend. “So you think so? But there’s like… guys that look like Nate and Ray in here.”

“And seeing a hot but adorable guy with cute glasses is refreshing and just her type and she decided to try and carpe diem into your pants.”

Gary blushed even more. “But has that ever happened to you? You’re gorgeous, Nora, surely you’ve been hit on like that.”

Nora thought for a minute. “Not here but at bars the occasional man or woman will come up to me and I’ll quickly shut them down when I shove my wedding bands in their face. And besides, at those places I’m usually in Ray’s lap so unless they try to ask if we want a third I’m usually left alone. _Ray_ on the other hand…”

“What?”

“I’ve almost cut a bitch a few times but don’t tell him.” She laughed into her hot cocoa. “You two are both catches. Embrace it, Green, you’re a bit of a hottie.” She winked and took a swig of her hot cocoa.

“Umm I guess… thanks Nora, that actually really did help… normalize things for me I guess.”

“That’s what friends are for!” She grinned. “Okay,” she sat her drink down. “Now that we’ve tabled the wild barista for a moment, can you believe she not only pretended to be her sister but sleep with her husband and then went ‘home’ and slept with her sister’s?”

“While her sister’s body is buried in the backyard! I KNOW.” Gary gasped as they continued to gab about their book, the brazen barista far from thought.


	2. Puppy Love, Tabby Cat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay is a still a big word for Behrad. Friend is much easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the Green Beans for not voting to kick me out when Shayan came along and ruined me. 
> 
> This is based on absolutely nothing but our own headcanons, and the little canon things we know about Behrad - that he's a soft, nice guy. 
> 
> Also slagging off tea killed me, as I'm English myself.
> 
> Set sometime in early season four.

It's not that Behrad doesn't enjoy Legends D&D night. It's more that D&D night with Gary's friends is way more fun. It doesn't usually descend into someone storming off because _ somebody _is using magic to fuck with the dice.

It also has Gary, and that is something Behrad is still not looking at too closely, thank you very much. He is 25. He would know if he was gay. He isn't. End of mental conversation for at least 27 seconds. 

The group have left for the night, and Gary is just cleaning up the pizza boxes. Behrad had offered to help, but Gary had insisted. _ You're my guest, sit and relax with Cleo. _ Cleo, Gary's old, chubby tabby cat is curled up next to Behrad, her head leaning against his knee as she purrs happily. 

Gary joins him a few minutes later, a beer in his hand and a coke for Behrad. 

"So, how did you like normal people D&D?" Gary asks, with a big smile. 

There's a little flutter in Behrad's chest, and oh, had it been 27 seconds already?

"Um, it was fun." Behrad replies, hoping he's not blushing, "A little less eventful, the only fire coming from the campaign rather than Rory."

"Yeah. Jo- Constantine said that same thing." 

Gary still sounds a little sad mentioning his name. Behrad wishes he could help past just being there, while the other Legends support John through this _ difficult time. _

Gary reaches across and scratched Cleo on the head, smiling sadly, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep bringing him up. I'm glad you enjoyed tonight."

"He was an idiot." Behrad says, "I don't know what you saw in him. He's kind of a douche. And he's short."

"He's _ English _." Gary points out, his voice almost a whine.

"Yeah, which means he smells of tea and has crappy teeth."

"Please. He smells of cigarettes and bad decisions."

"Yeah. Bad decisions. Tea." Behrad takes a drink of his coke, "It's hot leaf water."

Gary chuckles at that, and Behrad is soft again. He doesn't know what it is about Gary that does this to him. He's just a cute nerd with a smile that could light up the night sky. It's nothing that should be making Behrad so confused. He lives on a ship with people like him, so why is Gary the one who has got to him like this?

"Thanks for coming." Gary says, "I didn't really think anyone would show when I asked."

He sounds so vulnerable, and it breaks Behrad's heart. He doesn't really understand why the Legends reject Gary so easily. Even ignoring his _ confusing feelings, _Gary is great. He's sweet, he's funny, he's smart, he's passionate. Yeah, he's a massive nerd, but they all are. There's no reason for Gary to be an outcast among outcasts.

"They don't know what they're missing." Behrad says, painfully aware of how it sounds, "You. Friendship with, with you."

Gary smiles, squeezes Behrad's shoulder, "Thank you."

Behrad thinks Gary knows. He's not said anything, not pushed anything - not that he would, Behrad's not a blonde English warlock after all - but there are _ moments _.

"Anyway, I guess it's kind of nice to play with someone who won't shrink in a huff."

Behrad smiles, "I'll just ruffle your drapes."

"You flirt." Gary teases.

Moments like that.

"Um. I meant, like…" Behrad shoots off a small gust of air past Gary's ear, "Not, like… _ ruffle your drapes. _"

Behrad tries to laugh it off, but suddenly everything feels awkward and messy, and maybe this is why the Legends can't be around him? They're all crushing too, and stupid and hopeless and _ gay gay gay. _

"Aw fuck." Behrad is suddenly aware of the panic setting in. Everything is too big, too much, the word is still scary and he's shaking. 

Gary, brilliant Gary, is on his knees in front of Behrad, hands resting on his thighs. He's saying something but Behrad can't hear it over the thoughts rushing through his head. Gary reaches up and gently cups Behrad's face. He forces him to look up, to look into his warm, brown eyes, to ground him. 

"... here. You're safe. It's okay. I've got you." Gary's voice fades in, brings Behrad back down to Earth. 

Behrad nods.

"I'm okay." His voice is weak, a little scared. He tries with more conviction, "I'm okay."

"You sure?" 

Behrad nods, and Gary takes his hands away. He pushes himself up, and sits back on the couch next to Behrad. Cleo makes a move from Behrad's hip to curl up in his lap, nudging her head against his hand. He feels calmer already.

"You don't have to tell me what that was about, Behr, but you know you can, right?" Gary tells him.

Behrad nods, "I know. I'm just... not sure I'm ready yet."

He sighs heavily, "Guess it's pretty obvious though."

"Little bit." Gary agrees, "But it's nothing to be scared of. Ava, one of my Dad's, me actually, til I was 23 and fell for a bisexual woman. I don't think any different of them. The Legends won't either."

Behrad sighs, "I know. I'm not worried about them, just… myself. I know they'll be fine, at least, the people who matter."

_ You. You matter _, he doesn't say.

"But I can't get over the hurdle in my head. I panic the moment I think the word. I think hey maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm bi, or pan, I've slept with women after all. But… I _ know _ I'm not any of those." 

Gary reaches across and takes hold of his hand, squeezing it gently.

"What you are, Behr, is amazing." Gary tells him.

Behrad laughs. His palm is sweaty in Gary's but he's not letting go.

"I won't say it's just a word, because obviously it's not to you, but you are so much more than that." Gary runs his thumb over Behrad's knuckles, "You're gentle, you're kind, you're funny, you're the best prankster I know. You're a hero. You're a Legend. More than that, you're my friend." 

Behrad doesn't even realise he's been crying til he lets go of Gary's hand and roughly rubs at his eyes.

"Thank you, Gary."

Cleo chirps on his lap, so Behrad rubs her ears, "Thank you, Cleo."

"You want to crash here tonight?"

Behrad nods, "If that's okay?"

Gary just smiles in reply, and the butterflies in Behrad's stomach seem just a little less scary.

(The next morning, if they wake up cuddled up together on the couch, Cleo curled up between them, then who's to know?)


	3. You Can Do Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mick doesn't do feelings but he hates seeing Gary cry over the Weasel.

Talking about feelings wasn’t something Mick did. Joining the Legends and losing his husband had changed that. He had a dozen books and millions of fans that could attest to the fact that Mick Rory knew a thing or two when it came to feelings; especially love. So when he found Gary crying in the Waverider’s kitchen one day, Mick ignored his flight response and went to get a sandwich. Sitting across from him, Mick asked, “What’s wrong Time Dweeb?”

“Nothing,” he said, his voice a bit wobbly.

“Look, I know we’ve gotten off to a bad start but you crying doesn’t look like nothing. I thought you and the Weasel were doing okay?”

“The truth was we were never dating in the first place. I was just another notch on John’s bedpost and I was stupid enough to fall in love with him.”

“Love is never stupid. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss Leonard.”

“This is different, Leonard loved you and John will never love me back,” Gary said as his breath hitched and another sob came out. 

“You should forget about that Weasel. You can do much better than him.”

“Do you really think so Mick?”

“I know I haven’t been the nicest guy to you but yeah, I do. I fact I think I saw Curly glance at your ass the other day.”

“Behrad?”

“The kid has it bad for you. So forget about the Weasel, Gary,” Mick said before getting up from the table.

At he glanced down at an astonished Gary Green, he said, “You deserve better and don’t you forget that.”

As he left, Mick went to his room and began writing about a handsome nerd and his new love. Smiling he typed out a dedicated page to Gary. Hopefully some day the words he wrote down on the page would come true.


	4. Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 4x16. Gary decides to make his rounds to apologize to one of the Legends for his role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the server for getting me involved on this and writing this little piece. IDK, I just thought this would be something interesting to explore.

Gary was anxious as he made his way down the hall, clenching and unclenching his hands. Neron and Tabitha were gone now, which was good for the whole world. However, he was still here with the Legends despite everything that he had done. Sara and Ava had said he could stick around, but that was when they were defeating Neron. Gary had no idea what his future would be with the Bureau or interacting with the Legends now, but he needed to apologize for his actions at the very least.

He had already apologized to Nate, and that had gone decent aside from the other man seeming distracted. Ava had been next, then Sara. They’d told him they should have treated him more professionally at the very least. There was probably truth in there, but he knew he was a nuisance to people. He was overeager and too passionate and awkward, all things that Neron had used to pull him into his influence. When he gave him just a scrap of validation, Gary had been so starved for it that he gave himself over to Neron. Just thinking about how pathetic he’d been made his stomach twist up more.

Charlie was next on the list. If he hadn’t kept Tabitha closer, then she wouldn’t have pushed the fairy godmother curse on Nora and forced Charlie to shapeshift. Gary felt sick remembering everything that he had caused by siding with Neron instead of him working with John to send the demon back to hell. Self-hatred started to bubble up as he raised his hand to knock on the door. Hopefully, Charlie wouldn’t kill him until he finished making his rounds of apology.

It took two knocks before Charlie’s doors slid open. “What?”

“Hey, Charlie,” Gary grinned briefly before stopping. _Tone it down, you dumbass_. “Can we talk?”

The shapeshifter leaned against the door. “Yeah, sure.”

“I wanted to come by and say I’m sorry for what I did,” he explained. “I was stupid for siding with Neron. It was a huge mistake and I made things bad for everyone here. And I’m sorry that I didn’t keep Tabitha around and she caught you and forced you to shift on live television.”

Charlie tilted their head and studied him for a few minutes. Something about the gaze made him feel like he was being examined with a microscope. It was as if they could see everything about him, inside and out.

“You mean that?” Charlie inquired.

He nodded. “I do. I honestly do.”

“Come in here a sec.”

With a nervous gulp, he followed them into the room. Charlie gestured for him to sit on a little ottoman.

“Apologizing for the Neron stuff, I get that,” Charlie sighed. “Why apologize for Tabitha?”

“She was my fairy godmother until she transferred the curse to Nora,” Gary murmured, remembering he also owed Nora an apology for sending to her to hell. “If I kept her around longer, then you never would have gotten trapped.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Charlie told him. “I knew the risk I was taking when I went in to free the magical creatures. But the others got me out and I’m still here, so that worked out fine.”

They smiled, but Gary didn’t feel reassured just yet. He had still screwed up big time.

“I know that look,” Charlie leaned forward. “You don’t feel like forgiving yourself, do you?”

“Why should I? I sided with a demon over heroes.”

“From what I’ve seen and heard over the past few months, I can’t say I blame you. People walk all over you and treat you like a freak long enough? You’re bound to snap sooner or later.”

“I should have just kept it in,” he muttered.

Charlie scoffed. “You could have, but it’d just come out later. Everyone’s got a limit. You have to let it out a little sometimes. Otherwise, you just go and blow up and hurt people and yourself.”

“I know,” Gary groaned. “People always tell me to speak up. I should have done that instead of becoming a villain.”

“Gary,” the shapeshifter smiled a little. “I don’t see you as a villain. You were misguided, eager for someone who would listen to you. All you are is human.”

“Human?”

“Every human I’ve seen makes mistakes. From my perspective, you lot act on emotion so often, even when you claim it’s ‘logic’. You acted on emotion and frustration from feeling unwanted, and you feel remorse for the hurt you caused others. So yeah, you’re human. More human than most people. There’s nothing wrong with being human.”

Gary relaxed a little. “Thanks. You’re really human too, Charlie. Even though you are a shapeshifter, you’re human. As human as shapeshifters are, which I don’t know- I’m gonna stop now.”

A laugh escaped Charlie. “There you go. Human as they come. Stay human, Gary. And all this atoning stuff is well and good, but you also gotta learn from it. Don’t repeat your mistakes.”

“That’s…really wise.”

Charlie smirked. “There’s more to me than meets the eye.”

For a moment, Gary wondered if there was more to the shifter than they’d let on to the team. “Well, I’m gonna go talk to Nora, but thank you. For this talk.”

“Anytime,” Charlie leaned back in the chair and put in a pair of earpods.

As Gary left the room, he nearly tripped over a few books haphazardly lying on the ground. He caught himself in time and peeked down at the titles. Some were new, others looked extremely old. All the books were on gods and deities in other cultures.

Well, everyone had to have their own interests. Still, given how Charlie had studied him earlier….

If Charlie had something to share, then that was their business and their choice whether or not to say it.

It was probably nothing though. Just his imagination being overactive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this!


	5. Of donuts and crochet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gary and Zari bonding.  
Gary exposes his soul, and Zari sees he doesn't belong in the garbage.  
Set right before the season four finale.  
This chapter has heavy self-esteem issues.

It happened on a quiet moment in a ship full of monsters. The Waverider had only one bathroom so that was out of question, and with everyone so busy, Gary thought no one would care if he used one of the sleeping quarters. He knew the override command for Gideon to let him enter, and he didn't pay attention to his surroundings. He just went straight to the bed to sit down and cry.

He cried because despite everything he still felt like a failure. Sure, the Legends had technically apologized to him, and Sara had even said he was wanted there <strike>they just needed people no matter who that's why</strike> but his mind still supplied him with all of his wrongdoings. He had sent Nora to Hell, he had tortured the Legends and they were on the brink of saving the world, and here he was crying _again_.

But he just needed to get this under control, to release the overflowing sadness and constant sense of failure from his system and then go out, put back his smile and pretend he was one more of the team. That he had this, that he could actually measure against them, against anyone.

The sound of the door opening made Gary tense. He didn't have the courage to see who was it that will see the certified proof that he was a failure.

"Hey," Zari said, and her tone was soft, but Gary couldn't tell that. He only heard judgement.

"Oh, I'm so s-sorry," he begun apologizing hastily, stammering and awkwardly. "I didn't want to hold the bathroom, I just- I'll leave you be."

He was going to rush past Zari, to find some quiet place in a crowded ship - maybe the garbage - but he was stopped by Zari's hand on his shoulder.

"Gary," she said sternly, and he braced himself for the berating that would come. "I won't let you leave like this. What's going on?"

He was speechless. He wasn't expecting this- _kindness._ Not from the Legends, not after everything they'd done, not after everything _he'd _done.

"I- I-" but how to sum up a lifetime of self-hate and negative reinforcements save for maybe: "I'm a failure." That was the one word that never left him.

"Hey, buddy, you're many things. But if there's one thing you're not is a failure. At any rate, you're not more of a failure than any other member of this ship."

"Has any other member made a deal with a demon for a cursed nipple and turned into the lackey of an evil fairy godmother?" Gary asked, tears still streaming down his eyes.

"Let's see," Zari said while she pushed him softly so he sat on the bed again while she sat at his side. "John broke down time to save his ex boyfriend and turned me into a cat. Sara was tempted by the death totem and almost killed everyone. Nate screwed several missions because he was hanged up on Amaya," at that Zari had a brief thought of asking herself what the hell was she doing with him then. "Ray got himself captured to save his future girlfriend. Nora quite literally worked to liberate a time demon. Don't even get me started on Mick. And oh, I joined this team by lying to them so they'd do a prison break for me. So really, Gary, you've done not worse than any of us. We're all screw-ups."

"I guess," he whispered softly, unconvinced and deflated.

"Also, if I'm being honest, though I wasn't here for it, I think we kinda deserved what you did. We didn't treat you right."

"I behaved like a bully."

"We were the bullies first," Zari admitted. She looked at the tears tracks on Gary's face and she cursed herself. She remembered back to when Gideon had put her in the simulated time loop, and she got a bit angry with the AI - and herself of course. Gideon had just put Gary in the trash, just comic relief, as if he didn't matter enough to be known. She wondered how would it had been if Gideon had thought he was deserving of being known too. Maybe she would have seen him earlier, and not now, after he had exploded, after he had been broken. Because looking at him, Zari saw him truly for the first time. She saw him past of how he annoyed her, past his grins and his eagerness, and she saw him fragile and vulnerable. Resilient too, of course, but she deemed him tender.

"I'm tired," Gary confessed. "I'm tired of being alone, of not being enough. I thought that maybe, with the nipple and everything, it would stop that burning," he looked at Zari, and her heart broke. "All my life, there's been this feeling, right behind my heart, of crushing loneliness. It's the remainder that nobody wants me around. And I try to go on, to tell myself that maybe it's just me, maybe I don't annoy people as much as I think I do. Maybe people do want me around, I'm just bad at seeing that because of all the bullying I suffered. But then, I see the way they look at me, the tone they use with me, and I know it's true, and the burning feeling grows until it feels like it's all there is. I'm just a burning shell with a stupid smile on his face and I don't know how to make it stop."

"Gary," Zari whispered, and fuck, she was about to start crying.

"And I've tried everything. I've tried being less annoying. Believe me, I've tried to speak less, and to be more quiet and to have less creepy grins. But I can't. And it's not enough. So I just go on, and when it gets to much, I cry at the stall on the Bureau, and when I'm home I play D&D because I can pretend I'm not a loser for a while, and-" Gary cut himself and raised his eyes to look at Zari alarmed. "Oh, no. I'm doing it again. I'm so sorry, I-" but before he could fully get up, Zari grabbed his hand.

"Gary, no, don't apologize. Not for this."

She looked at him.

There was a chance she might recover her family soon, but looking at him, Zari knew she had a family already.

"I mean, yes, sometimes you can be so annoying and I want to strangle you," Zari laughed but it was almost a sob. "But you remind me of my little brother, he was so annoying too and such a dork. But I loved him, and I would give anything to just hug him again. You remind me of him, Gary, he would've liked you. What I'm trying to say is, I love you, sorry for not realizing it sooner."

"You do?" Gary asked hopeful.

"I do," Zari smiled, and she squeezed Gary's hand.

"Can I hug you?" he was learning. Boundaries where sometimes hard, but he was learning.

"You better," Zari teased her opening her arms. She confirmed what she felt. Hugging Gary was like hugging a brother. She buried her head in his neck, when all this was over, she would make sure Gary never felt alone again.

"Hey, we should really do that crochet club," she said.

"Yes!" Gary agreed moving back and breaking the hug. A genuine grin adorned his face once more.

"Gideon can fabricate any wool you want, it's the best."

"We can gift each other a blanket!"

"That'd be great."

.

Neron was gone, the day had been saved, and the Legends were victorious. Yet, Gary couldn't help but feel like he was forgetting something. It was nagging at the back of his consciousness, but in the end, the sensation got mixed with the burning feeling behind his heart and he forgot about it.

Maybe when he got home he would do some crochet, it usually helped him relax. He also craved donuts for some reason, and maybe some Doctor Who.

Sci-fi, crochet and donuts, and he'll forget for awhile about the loneliness. It was okay, Gary thought.


	6. When You Are Needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for cancer.
> 
> Sara has been giving him a lot of shit, they were never very close, but now he needed support and she decided to put everything aside.
> 
> Set during 5x06. I know Sara wasn't there when John was brought in, but in this fic I'm saying she was.

"Hey."

Gary was sitting on the floor in the library, gazing aimlessly at it. He was startled when he heard Sara talk and he raised his head and looked at her. He didn't even hear her come in. Sara knew she would find him there. The library was the closest room on the Waverider to John. He used to spend there most of his time, and when Gary came ever, that was mostly where they hanged out.

"Hey," he said quietly.

Sara set down next to him, crossing her legs. "Why are we sitting on the floor?"

"I just kind of stopped being able to walk at one point and sat down here. It's been a long day... two days... I've no idea how long I've been awake."

They sat in silence for a while. Eventually, Sara began with what she thought was the truest thing to say. "He's going to be okay."

Gary huffed. "You can't know that. You heard what Gideon said. He's got stage 4 lung cancer, Sara. He's terminal. You don't just get better from that."

"It's John. He always finds a way."

Gary shook his head. He was getting a bit angry. Sara couldn't just come and say that John will be okay when he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, when Gary just saw him cough blood and collapse on the floor.

Sara put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched a bit. She swallowed hard and tightened her grip. "Gary, we're talking about John fucking Constantine. The guy was in hell and back. Multiply times. Look at me." Gary kept his eyes peeled to the floor for a while, but then looked up. Sara could see his eyes were wet with unshed tears, but now they were starting to fall. It was much harder keeping them back when he was looking at Sara. "I'm not just saying this because that what people always say in this situation. I really think he can get through this. He will con his way out of this like he did many times."

"And what if he doesn't?" Gary asked, his voice trembling

"Look, I'll be honest. I can't see the future. I don't know what will happen. I believe he can pull through this. This doesn't seem like a regular sudden worsening of a disease. Someone is behind this. But if... we're all here for you. Okay? I know we've been hard on you in the past, but we're not going to abandon you now. You hear me?"

Gary nodded weakly.

Sara moved the hand that was on his shoulder to wipe the tears from his cheek and then hugged him. Gary was reluctant at first but then held on to her for dear life. He sobbed harder and she held him for a long while until the sobbing began to subside.


End file.
